In August 2004 I found out I was having a baby. I was very young, but me and my boyfriend were so excited!
When I thought I was 10 weeks gone I started bleeding. I was sent to hospital the next day for a scan, and the sonographer told me and my partner that our baby had died! what made it so much worse was that I was actually around 16 weeks pregnant, not 10. We were absolutley devastated. I was admitted to hospital a few days later for a D&C. All the nurses were awful. When I got home everyone just told me to get over it, except my mother and partner! They'd obviously never lost a child themselves!

A year later I found out I was expecting again, but at 6 weeks I got the same dreaded pain and bleeding. Again we were told our baby had died. It was the worst feeling in the world and I blamed myself.


In September 2004 I found out I was pregnant, again. This time though I was monitored very carefully, and in June 2005 I gave birth to the most beautiful, healthy little girl, Ellie May. She's 2 now and although it's getting easier, I'm still not over losing my babies. I was made to feel ashamed and stupid for grieving for them. To me they were still my children.


Love you, my two angels. Sleep tight xxxxx