I met Richard in December 2003 and we feel in love instantly, well..i say instantly but to be honest for the first hour an half i thought he must be married-he was so perfect,how could he be single?

We were set up by a friend that i worked with, Rich was his best man. Two weeks after meeting, Rich asked me to marry him and i said yes. Everything was perfect.

On 31st October 2004 i found out i was pregnant, i couldnt believe it, we had been trying for months and i was starting to think it would never happen. I told Rich and he was over moon. We were going to have a baby and we told the whole world!!

Things carried on as normal, everything went really well and we were so excited. All of the scans showed our baby growing well, we had a lovely midwife and life couldnt be better.

In Febuary 2005 i decided that i`d like to be married BEFORE the baby was born, the baby was due July 7th so it didnt leave much time but we could do it. I called the registry office and they had some dates free so i called Rich at work he said to go for it so we did and the date was set for 9th April 2005.

Our year was set we`d be married, have our first baby and i would be turning 21 the perfect year!!

We decided from the start that we wanted to know what we were having, boy or girl so we asked at out next scan. I so wanted a girl so that i could buy pretty dresses and nice toys. "It`s a boy" they announced, i cried. I really wanted a girl! I was so silly but i was sure the little baby growing inside me was a girl, i`d called her georgina for so long. After a while i realised how silly it was and i got used to the idea of having a little boy.

We decided to call him Reece, i have no idea why and Eric Vincent after Richards grandad.

Our wedding was great i was 6 months pregnant and although i was tired i was blooming. We were already living togehter so we asked for presents for the baby instead of us-we had so many lovely things!!

When we got back from our honeymoon we got Reece`s room ready it was lovely, my favourite room in the house. Now all we needed was the baby. I spent ours just sat in there talking to him and reading him stories.

Things went well, on may 25th we had a scan due to me having an irregular heartbeat and everything was fine so we got ready for out little ones arrival.

On June 6th we went to bed as normal Rich kissed my belly goodnight and told Reece how much he loved him then went to sleep but i couldnt sleep, i just lay there for hours. I had a ache at the bottom of my back and then i started to get pains at the bottom of my belly, just the right side. It didnt hurt it was just a dull ache. At about 2am it was still there so i woke Rich. He said we should call the hospital as the pain was coming and going but said i`d wait til morning, Rich being the usual worry wart he is called them anyway and they asked us to go in.

I grabbed my bags incase and off we went, we stopped for petrol on the way, the guy was so slow it took ages and by the time rich was back in the car the pain was really hurting and it was regular. I dont know why but i said " what if i`m losing him" i didnt think for one minute i was and i dont know why i said it but i did.

20 mins later we were at the hospital.

The midwife got one of those little trumpet things and out and put it to my belly "i hate these wooden ones" she said and she went in search of a plastic one instead. "He`s hding from me now" she said "i`ll just get a scanner and we`ll see what he`s upto in there". When the doctor came with the scanner i looked at Rich and i knew my baby was gone, the doctor didnt have to say a word. The look in my husbands eyes said it all, our baby and our dreams were gone.I knew i had to give birth to him next but i didnt know if i could take it, i went to the toilet and i didnt know if i should run away or just sit and cry. I cried.

Reece took 15 hours to be born. I had every pain releif possible, i didnt want to feel it. I was numb and couldnt feel a thing but the contractions kept coming and Rich could see them, i`ll never forget him showing the doctor and asking if his baby was ok now.

Rich and my dad kept disappearing outside with the doctor, i didnt notice it at the time but i know they did now. What no one had told me yet was that i had had a concealed placental abruption. The placenta had fallen away with no signs and the blood that should be flowing through it was now flowing into me, i was bleeding to death. They couldnt do a c section because it could kill me but if they didnt get the baby out soon there was just as big a chance. I had two blood transfusions, morphine and god knows how many needles.

Reece was born at 16.51 on June 7th 2005 at 35 weeks and 4 days gestation. he weighed 5lb 11 oz and was perfect. a miniture daddy.

The first thing i did was move away from him, i was scared. The hospital dressed and bathed him and i didnt realise until we went home but i only ever held Reece when no one else was around.

We stayed in hospital for two days in a lovely private room with a garden. Family came to see him and cuddle him, they all cried. He was so perfect.

Next came the funeral. We didnt have a PM as they knew what happened so we could do it as soon as we wanted. We didnt want anything religious, how could there be a god after what we had jsut been through. We went for a simple grave side service, rich carried him and i said a poem and did a reading. Everyone was there. My little boy touched so many lives and they never even knew him.

It`s now over a year since i gave birth to my first baby. I used to visit everyday now it`s at least once a week. I have had a misscarriage since then and a healthy baby too-luke.

We have decided we will never have to sit Luke down and explain to him that he used to have a brother, he will always know. He was born on june 1st 2006, almost a year after his brother and he is a spitting image of him He comes to the cemetery with me all the time and we talk to Reece and send him balloons.

Our lives have changed a lot since Reece was born, so have we but he will always be a part of our lives and we will love him until the day we see him again.

Ann Lynch
(written November 14th 2006)