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26TH JULY 07
THE WORST DAY OF OUR LIVES MY DH GOT YOU ENZO UP AT 6AM AND TOOK HIM DOWNSTAIRS AND SAID HE WAS STIRRING HE LEFT TO GO TO WORK AT 6.30AM HE SAID ENZO HAD SETTLED BACK DOWN SO I GOT CHANGED AND SORTED YOUR MY OTHER 2 KIDS OUT BEFORE GOING DOWNSTAIRS I WANTED TO LET HIM SLEEP AND NOT DISTURB HIM. I CAME DOWNSTAIRS AT 7.45AM AND WARMED HIM A BOTTLE UP, I WENT AND PICKED HIM UP BUT HE WAS LIMP BUT STILL WARM AND LOOKED AS THO HE WAS JUST SLEEPING . I INSTANTLY KNEW SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT PANIC I RANG FOR A AMBULANCE AND THEY TALKED ME THROUGH HOW TO RESUSITATE I TRIED WITH EVERYTHING I HAD BUT EVERYTHING I GAVE JUST GROWLED BACK OUT AT ME MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY HAD GONE MY DH WENT TO HOSPITAL WITH HIM AND I FOLLOWED AFTER MY MIL CAME FOR JAMES AND ELLISIA (MY 2 KIDS) I KNEW HE WAS GONE BUT WAS PRAYING FOR A MIRACLE I EVEN TOOK HIS BOTTLES AND NAPPIES AND BLANKET I WANTED TO GET TO HOSPITAL AND FEED HIM AND CHANGE HIM .IT WAS HOPE THAT HE WAS OKAY. THE HOSPITAL TRIED FOR 45 MINUTES TO BRING HIM BACK TO US BUT HE HAD GIVEN UP WHY? WE LOVED HIM SO MUCH IT BREAKS OUR HEARTS TO KNOW THAT HE HAS GONE AND ISN'T COMING BACK
CORONERS INQUEST ON 9TH DECEMBER STATED THAT ENZO PASSED AWAY TO SIDS VERDICT WAS NATURAL CAUSES
ENZO HAS A MEMORIAL SITE HTTP://ENZO-WILLIAM-...NETOOSOON.CO.UK PLEASE TAKE A LOOK THERE IS MORE ON THERE .
my story of the loss of my precious baby
MultiQuote
#3
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Posted 29 July 2008 - 12:40 PM
Oh hun I lit a candle on Enzo's site what an adorable precious little boy, how cruel to not have him with you now, my heart does break for you hun honestly 
Thanks for sharing your story and I hope to speak to you more soon.
Thanks for sharing your story and I hope to speak to you more soon.
#5
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Posted 29 July 2008 - 07:01 PM
I'm lost for words. I'm so sorry Enzo isn't with you now, it is so unfair.
Eleanor x
A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam. For a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world. But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky just to have seen it.
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#8
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Posted 30 July 2008 - 07:10 PM
I am so so sorry you lost your gorgeous little boy. I looked at his site too and my heart just breaks for you. Welcome to LAL and I hope you can find true friendship and support here.
H xox
H xox
#9
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Posted 31 July 2008 - 10:33 PM
Hi Hun..
Im sorry about your little fella, he is truely scrumptious and the 2nd best angel in the clouds..
Ive lit for enzo earlier on today after you visited Baileys site, Thankyou for your words on his page, It means alot to know someone went through similier things..
I know who I can come to should i need the urge to talk further.. Thats if you dont mind x
Im sorry about your little fella, he is truely scrumptious and the 2nd best angel in the clouds..
Ive lit for enzo earlier on today after you visited Baileys site, Thankyou for your words on his page, It means alot to know someone went through similier things..
I know who I can come to should i need the urge to talk further.. Thats if you dont mind x
_/ \_ ¸.·¤**¤·.¸,.·¤** ¤·.
\ / ¸.·¤**¤·.¸,.·¤** ¤·.
/.·*·.\ ¸.·¤**¤·.¸,.·¤** ¤·.
Nothing could be more beautiful,
Than the memories we have of you,
To us they're very precious
Because they are of you.
#14
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Posted 18 July 2010 - 07:43 PM
Hi Clare
I am sorry to read your story. I tried the link but it didn't work.
My name is Patricia and I also lost a little boy to SIDS. We haven't had it officially confirmed yet as Reuben's inquest hasn't taken place but we have been told that no reason was found for him die. Reuben was 10 weeks old to the day when he simply didn't wake up after a nap. We are 8 weeks on from that day and I don't think I believe he is really gone for good. His big sister is heartbroken and keeps asking when her brother is coming back. How did you deal with that question? I don't know how to deal with any of this. We have very supportive families but no one really understands. But then again how could they when even I don't know how I feel?
Patricia
I am sorry to read your story. I tried the link but it didn't work.
My name is Patricia and I also lost a little boy to SIDS. We haven't had it officially confirmed yet as Reuben's inquest hasn't taken place but we have been told that no reason was found for him die. Reuben was 10 weeks old to the day when he simply didn't wake up after a nap. We are 8 weeks on from that day and I don't think I believe he is really gone for good. His big sister is heartbroken and keeps asking when her brother is coming back. How did you deal with that question? I don't know how to deal with any of this. We have very supportive families but no one really understands. But then again how could they when even I don't know how I feel?
Patricia
#15
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Posted 18 July 2010 - 09:14 PM
Hi Patricia,
I am not Claire, but couldn't read your post and not reply. I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your Reuben. I won't say I know how you feel because I don't, my experience was very different, I lost my son at 39 weeks pregnant and he was stillborn. I just really really hope that talking about Reuben to people who understand will help you get some comfort. I can imagine that dealing with your daughter's grief is just so painful for you too, it's not fair that anyone should have to go through this.
At 8 weeks on, I am sure you are still in shock. I know for me it took maybe about 3 months for things to seem real. It's just so hard to go around in that constant feeling of it all being so unreal, but hang in there and keep leaning on family and friends. I am sure they will want to be there for you whatever way they can.
Love
Helen xox
I am not Claire, but couldn't read your post and not reply. I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your Reuben. I won't say I know how you feel because I don't, my experience was very different, I lost my son at 39 weeks pregnant and he was stillborn. I just really really hope that talking about Reuben to people who understand will help you get some comfort. I can imagine that dealing with your daughter's grief is just so painful for you too, it's not fair that anyone should have to go through this.
At 8 weeks on, I am sure you are still in shock. I know for me it took maybe about 3 months for things to seem real. It's just so hard to go around in that constant feeling of it all being so unreal, but hang in there and keep leaning on family and friends. I am sure they will want to be there for you whatever way they can.
Love
Helen xox
#16
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Posted 19 July 2010 - 12:03 PM
Thank you for your kind words Helen. I am sorry about your little boy too. What is he called?
I am thinking of going back to work soon. Being on maternity leave doesn't feel right. I never thought I would be going back to work without worrying about my little man going to nursery and how we both would cope. We only cancelled his place at the day nursery last week when they phoned to confirm we still wanted the place. I don't know who cried more, me or the person who phoned me. Everywhere we go and everything we do is full of reminders of how Reuben should be here with us. My faith has helped me over the last eight weeks but I also feel very angry at God. Why has he taken our little boy? He was healthy and he was happy. We had no indicator that anything was wrong. Everything appeared to be text book. I keep asking myself if I missed something, if there were signs I missed or something I should have spotted. A child just can't not wake up? It doesn't seem possible. I have read lots on SIDS since Reuben died and we did none of the things they say to avoid. He always slept in his cot and we always placed him on his back, his cot was in our room, we monitored the room temperature, we don't smoke, I was breastfeeding, he was born a good weight and was gaining weight and feeding well. I can't make sense of any of this.
Claire can I ask how long it took for you to have your son's inquest? Did the inquest tell you anything you didn't already know?
Patricia
I am thinking of going back to work soon. Being on maternity leave doesn't feel right. I never thought I would be going back to work without worrying about my little man going to nursery and how we both would cope. We only cancelled his place at the day nursery last week when they phoned to confirm we still wanted the place. I don't know who cried more, me or the person who phoned me. Everywhere we go and everything we do is full of reminders of how Reuben should be here with us. My faith has helped me over the last eight weeks but I also feel very angry at God. Why has he taken our little boy? He was healthy and he was happy. We had no indicator that anything was wrong. Everything appeared to be text book. I keep asking myself if I missed something, if there were signs I missed or something I should have spotted. A child just can't not wake up? It doesn't seem possible. I have read lots on SIDS since Reuben died and we did none of the things they say to avoid. He always slept in his cot and we always placed him on his back, his cot was in our room, we monitored the room temperature, we don't smoke, I was breastfeeding, he was born a good weight and was gaining weight and feeding well. I can't make sense of any of this.
Claire can I ask how long it took for you to have your son's inquest? Did the inquest tell you anything you didn't already know?
Patricia
#17
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Posted 19 July 2010 - 03:50 PM
Hi Patricia,
My wee boy is called Samuel. It's 5 years ago now so definitely not as raw but of course I think about him all the time and will never forget him. My pregnancy was textbook too so it was also completely out of the blue for me to lose a perfectly healthy baby, there had been no complications at all.
I wish I knew why God has to take babies, I think it is something I will never understand. But I am really glad your faith has helped you, it definitely is good to just lean on that and take strength that you will definitely see Reuben again one day. That must have been so so hard for you when the nursery phoned. I just can't even imagine the pain you are feeling at the thought of going back to work under these circumstances. But if you think it might help you then definitely give it a go. If it's all too much you can always come back onto leave, that's what I did.
I'm not sure that Claire comes on here much any more, hopefully someone can answer your questions. The forum has been pretty quiet lately.
H xox
My wee boy is called Samuel. It's 5 years ago now so definitely not as raw but of course I think about him all the time and will never forget him. My pregnancy was textbook too so it was also completely out of the blue for me to lose a perfectly healthy baby, there had been no complications at all.
I wish I knew why God has to take babies, I think it is something I will never understand. But I am really glad your faith has helped you, it definitely is good to just lean on that and take strength that you will definitely see Reuben again one day. That must have been so so hard for you when the nursery phoned. I just can't even imagine the pain you are feeling at the thought of going back to work under these circumstances. But if you think it might help you then definitely give it a go. If it's all too much you can always come back onto leave, that's what I did.
I'm not sure that Claire comes on here much any more, hopefully someone can answer your questions. The forum has been pretty quiet lately.
H xox
#18
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Posted 19 July 2010 - 05:32 PM
Thank you for your reply Helen. Samuel is a beautiful name. It was one of the names we had chosen for Reuben but couldn't use it as his cousin was born 7 weeks before him and they called him Samuel.
Patricia.
Patricia.
#20
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Posted 19 July 2010 - 08:44 PM
Patricia , Helen contacted me today through facebook im sorry i hadnt seen your post .
we lost Enzo the day after he was 11 wks old and it was sids he had a post mortem and it revealed that he was perfectly healthy and perfect in every way he just went to sleep and never woke up .
He went to bed as usual at 11pm on the wednesday night his dad got up at 6.30am and he was sound asleep and fine i woke at 7.30am and our baby boy was gone he passed away 26th July and we got his pm results and inquest in december so 5 months it took the waiting is the worst. Enzos big brother james was heartbroken too he was 5 at the time and saw everything that morning even me trying to rescusitate Enzo along with his sister although she was only 18 months and didnt understand (Thank God).
8 wks is nothing patricia im 3 yrs on come monday and its as fresh in my mind as the day it happened .
pm me anytime if u want to talk i will send u my mobile number text me if u need a chat or call i totally understand how u feel although i wish i didnt and i wish u werent goin through this
where are u from hunni
floaty kisses to reuben im sure Enzos taking extra special care of him for you
we lost Enzo the day after he was 11 wks old and it was sids he had a post mortem and it revealed that he was perfectly healthy and perfect in every way he just went to sleep and never woke up .
He went to bed as usual at 11pm on the wednesday night his dad got up at 6.30am and he was sound asleep and fine i woke at 7.30am and our baby boy was gone he passed away 26th July and we got his pm results and inquest in december so 5 months it took the waiting is the worst. Enzos big brother james was heartbroken too he was 5 at the time and saw everything that morning even me trying to rescusitate Enzo along with his sister although she was only 18 months and didnt understand (Thank God).
8 wks is nothing patricia im 3 yrs on come monday and its as fresh in my mind as the day it happened .
pm me anytime if u want to talk i will send u my mobile number text me if u need a chat or call i totally understand how u feel although i wish i didnt and i wish u werent goin through this
where are u from hunni
floaty kisses to reuben im sure Enzos taking extra special care of him for you
