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Thank you Claire for coming to chat to me. Tonight is not a good night for me so I will reply tomorrow.
Patricia.
my story of the loss of my precious baby
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#22
- LAL Newbie
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 69
- Joined: 27-July 08
- Locationwalsall west midlands England
Posted 19 July 2010 - 09:26 PM
Reuben said:
Thank you Claire for coming to chat to me. Tonight is not a good night for me so I will reply tomorrow.
Patricia.
Patricia.
no probs hunni ((((((((((((((((((big Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
#23
- LAL Newbie
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- Group: Members
- Posts: 5
- Joined: 17-July 10
Posted 28 July 2010 - 11:50 AM
Hello Clare,
I'm sorry it has taken me this long to come back to reply.
We are also in a similar position with Rebekah, Reuben's 4 year old sister. She saw it all to, heard the screams, saw us trying to resucitate Reuben and the ambulance take him away. We spoke to a clinical psychologist in the hospital who referred us to Barnados for bereavement counselling for Rebekah. We have only started with them but hope it helps with the trauma. Rebekah has been wetting at night quite a lot since Reuben died which we hadn't had for a couple of years. She also gets very upset when she sees an ambulance or police car and asks if that is the one that has Reuben.
It was two months last Wednesday since Reuben didn't wake up. I fell apart that day more than usual. Inside I am very angry all the time, I feel like a washing machine on full speed spin with everything going round and round.
Clare can I ask about Enzo's inquest, if it's not too painful. We have been told we will be given all the results in advance of the inquest. Was there anything at your little boy's inquest that surprised you or that you hadn't heard before? I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the day. I want to know it all in advance as hearing the details being played out at the inquest is going to be very emotionally challenging. We have been told one of the paramedics who attended will be present together with the police officer who subsequently arrived. It may sound silly but I dread seeing them again. I can recall their faces so vividly and do so frequently when I have my nightmares about that day. They were all very kind with us but all I can hear is them telling us Reuben was dead and me screaming back at them that they were wrong.
Hello Helen
You are right about it being difficult with Reuben's cousin being so close in age. I have tried to avoid seeing Samuel. It is causing some difficulty with in the family but on the whole people understand. I know I can't go on avoiding him but I am not ready to deal with it. Samuel is now the baby of the family "again" and I hate it. We do have another baby due in the family in a couple of months and I find myself hoping it's another little boy so he can be the youngest grandson as well as being the baby in the family. It's almost as if I begrudge my little nephew his place in the family. It's a very unhealthy place for me to be in; I recogonise that but don't know how to stop feeling that way.
Patricia.
I'm sorry it has taken me this long to come back to reply.
We are also in a similar position with Rebekah, Reuben's 4 year old sister. She saw it all to, heard the screams, saw us trying to resucitate Reuben and the ambulance take him away. We spoke to a clinical psychologist in the hospital who referred us to Barnados for bereavement counselling for Rebekah. We have only started with them but hope it helps with the trauma. Rebekah has been wetting at night quite a lot since Reuben died which we hadn't had for a couple of years. She also gets very upset when she sees an ambulance or police car and asks if that is the one that has Reuben.
It was two months last Wednesday since Reuben didn't wake up. I fell apart that day more than usual. Inside I am very angry all the time, I feel like a washing machine on full speed spin with everything going round and round.
Clare can I ask about Enzo's inquest, if it's not too painful. We have been told we will be given all the results in advance of the inquest. Was there anything at your little boy's inquest that surprised you or that you hadn't heard before? I am trying to prepare myself mentally for the day. I want to know it all in advance as hearing the details being played out at the inquest is going to be very emotionally challenging. We have been told one of the paramedics who attended will be present together with the police officer who subsequently arrived. It may sound silly but I dread seeing them again. I can recall their faces so vividly and do so frequently when I have my nightmares about that day. They were all very kind with us but all I can hear is them telling us Reuben was dead and me screaming back at them that they were wrong.
Hello Helen
You are right about it being difficult with Reuben's cousin being so close in age. I have tried to avoid seeing Samuel. It is causing some difficulty with in the family but on the whole people understand. I know I can't go on avoiding him but I am not ready to deal with it. Samuel is now the baby of the family "again" and I hate it. We do have another baby due in the family in a couple of months and I find myself hoping it's another little boy so he can be the youngest grandson as well as being the baby in the family. It's almost as if I begrudge my little nephew his place in the family. It's a very unhealthy place for me to be in; I recogonise that but don't know how to stop feeling that way.
Patricia.
