[Hols]

Hi everyone,

My name is Laura, I am 27 and am married to Andy, I have 3 children already and have just suffered a MMC at 8 weeks.I had started spotting and baby had died the week before. I know some people here already, mainly Gemma (Nickfan1). So I thought this might be the best place to come for some advice and support.

I am still in shock about it all I think, but basically I decided to try and let 'nature' take it's course but I'm not really sure what to expect. The hospital were less than helpful except to say 'sorry, come back in a week for a scan to see if you have passed everything and here take a couple of our crappy leaflets'. I appreciate they are busy but it was poor and upsetting having the miscarriage association leaflet thrust at me and then I left to find people waiting for visiting on the maternity wards with teddies and helium balloons it was a bit too much to take.

So I guess I'm wondering how do I know when it's over? I have started bleeding heavier already and passing large clots but other than that I don't know what will happen and I'm a bit scared. I had an early mc years ago when I was 18 but nothing like this.

Anyway sorry for the ramble.

Laura
xxxxx.

[ellie2009]

Hols, on 28 July 2010 - 04:30 PM, said:

Hi everyone,

My name is Laura, I am 27 and am married to Andy, I have 3 children already and have just suffered a MMC at 8 weeks.I had started spotting and baby had died the week before. I know some people here already, mainly Gemma (Nickfan1). So I thought this might be the best place to come for some advice and support.

I am still in shock about it all I think, but basically I decided to try and let 'nature' take it's course but I'm not really sure what to expect. The hospital were less than helpful except to say 'sorry, come back in a week for a scan to see if you have passed everything and here take a couple of our crappy leaflets'. I appreciate they are busy but it was poor and upsetting having the miscarriage association leaflet thrust at me and then I left to find people waiting for visiting on the maternity wards with teddies and helium balloons it was a bit too much to take.

So I guess I'm wondering how do I know when it's over? I have started bleeding heavier already and passing large clots but other than that I don't know what will happen and I'm a bit scared. I had an early mc years ago when I was 18 but nothing like this.

Anyway sorry for the ramble.

Laura
xxxxx.

[ellie2009]

Hi Laura,

Sorry for yur lost, i'm Dawn i joined ere in Jan 10 this year after losing my daughter Ellie to reduced movement's. I then had to go thru a normal birth as they wud not give me a c -section, i only had 7 wks left to go.
But my 1st and 2nd pregnancy ended with a mmc,so i do know what u r going thru.Me personaly could not let nature take it's course,so opt for D&C. Which for me could not hav cope with losing the baby that way(DON'T KNOW IF I HAV PUT THAT RIGHT).
But the emotion's that i went thro, i had 2 deal with it myself. The anger,what if's and but's,what did i do wrong and many other's and the last the blame. Well no one could give me any answer's 2 why had this happen, so the easy thing was 2 blame myself which was easy.
All these emotion's as u already know ,as this is the second lost u hav suffered are normal,but all i can say the last one the blame,it is not yur fault nor anyone's fault. Just please please don't do what i did and blame yurself.

You will get all the help and support from us all here,if u ever feel the need to talk,i am on here every day so will get round too sending u a message back.

Take Care
Dawn xx

[sophiesmum]

A sad yet warm welcome Laura. Sorry you have reason to be here, but we're all here to help.

I lost my daughter due to CCAM, so can't offer advise about what your body will be going through at the moment - but I'm here to listen......

Take care hun.

Dawn x

[Hols]

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me

Dawn I am so sorry that you lost Ellie, what a beautiful name. I have never suffered anything comparable to the loss you have suffered life is just so bloody cruel sometimes. I can understand you opting for the D&C I was just in shock at the time and just wanted to get out of there, when she said would you like to go home and see what happens I just instinctively said yes IYKWIM.

Dawn, I am so sorry for the loss of Sophie, another beautiful name although I am slightly biased as my youngest daughter is called Sophie. Again I haven't suffered like you have so I won't say I know how you feel cos I don't I just wish Sophie could be here with you now.

AFM- Well I am feeling Okish. Sorry for TMI but the bleeding got a lot heavier and I think I have passed everything now, in a way I feel relieved it's over but sad too that my baby is gone now, that probably doesn't make sense really.

Emotionally I am a bit all over the place. I got up feeling really positive this morning thinking about trying again and I even did a PG test to see if it was getting fainter (it was a lot fainter) in the hope that when my hCG bottoms out I will get back into some sort of cycle and conceive quite quickly (I have PCOS so this may just be a pipe dream ). Then as soon as my DH walked in the door it was just like a big gloomy cloud descended, he just keeps snapping at me all the time (he does this anyway), I know I must be a pain in the arse at the moment but you would think he might show some compassion or sympathy but no just business as usual.

I just don't know what to do about him at the moment I don't need the shit I get off him right now but he doesn't seem to get it IYKWIM.

Anyway enough rambling from me for now, thanks for listening/reading

[RhianW]

Hols, on 30 July 2010 - 04:16 PM, said:

Thanks for taking the time to reply to me

Dawn I am so sorry that you lost Ellie, what a beautiful name. I have never suffered anything comparable to the loss you have suffered life is just so bloody cruel sometimes. I can understand you opting for the D&C I was just in shock at the time and just wanted to get out of there, when she said would you like to go home and see what happens I just instinctively said yes IYKWIM.

Dawn, I am so sorry for the loss of Sophie, another beautiful name although I am slightly biased as my youngest daughter is called Sophie. Again I haven't suffered like you have so I won't say I know how you feel cos I don't I just wish Sophie could be here with you now.

AFM- Well I am feeling Okish. Sorry for TMI but the bleeding got a lot heavier and I think I have passed everything now, in a way I feel relieved it's over but sad too that my baby is gone now, that probably doesn't make sense really.

Emotionally I am a bit all over the place. I got up feeling really positive this morning thinking about trying again and I even did a PG test to see if it was getting fainter (it was a lot fainter) in the hope that when my hCG bottoms out I will get back into some sort of cycle and conceive quite quickly (I have PCOS so this may just be a pipe dream ). Then as soon as my DH walked in the door it was just like a big gloomy cloud descended, he just keeps snapping at me all the time (he does this anyway), I know I must be a pain in the arse at the moment but you would think he might show some compassion or sympathy but no just business as usual.

I just don't know what to do about him at the moment I don't need the shit I get off him right now but he doesn't seem to get it IYKWIM.

Anyway enough rambling from me for now, thanks for listening/reading

Hey, I am really new here, i only joined today. But i just wanted to send all of you lovely ladies, and your angels, lots of love and hugs from me. I had my ERPC on tuesday this week, I have never felt so empty. so I get how you feel.

big hugs xxxxxxxx

[Hols]

Hi Rhian, so sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you find the help and support you need here.

Just a quickie as I am feeling a bit drained today emotionally and physically. Had my scan and uterus was empty, however, they did see 'retained products of conception' as they delightfully call it stuck in my cervix so I spent a very uncomfortable/painful 10 minutes having it removed by a dr using a speculum and what looked like giant tweezer things Anyway everything else seemed fine I was just given a weeks worth of antibiotics (metronidazole which makes me feel shitty tbh) after all the 'poking and rummaging' as the MW so wonderfully put it. I also have to do a HPT in 2 weeks and ring them with the results oh joy!

Thats about it I think.

[AnnH]

Hi Laura

Its Ann aka loachy.

I am glad that things are physically nearly over for you. Emotionally will take a lot longer. Just post away and we will be here for you.

Ann

[Hols]

Hi Ann how are you hun? Thanks for the welcome.

****RANT ALERT PG/MC/LC MENTIONED****

Right I don't know where to start exactly so I will just jump in. My MIL came round earlier to see the kids and we got chatting, anyway, she starts talking about my SIL (who I am really not keen on to say the least), then she comes out and says 'I shouldn't really be telling you this but she's 6 weeks PG.' I said 'Oh right, thats nice' then she says but I think she may be losing it as she has been having some bleeding, EPAU won't scan until next week as she isn't quite 6 weeks yet (5+5 apparently).

Now I know this may sound really petty but she just pisses me off. I don't want her to be losing the baby and I am pleased for them but it's like whatever I do she has to do. When I got PG with Sophie (my middle child), lo and behold 8 weeks later she announces she's PG. I had Sophie at 33+2 and she is wandering around the NNU rubbing her bump in front of women who have had prem babies and saying look it doesn't matter if she comes now she would be fine here (she was 24 weeks). I mean how insensitive can you be? Then I got PG with Matty and I got to 26 weeks and guess what she's PG again (sadly she went on to miscarry at 6 weeks). Then I found out I was PG 1st July then miscarried on 27th July, and lo and behold not 5 weeks later she is PG again. I mean they live with my in-laws (who do everything for them), neither works full time and tbh she isn't that great of a mother (preferring unpaid overtime instead of time with her daughter). No prospects of anywhere to live and they couldn't afford it anyway yet this PG was 'planned' I wonder why??? I know it sounds childish but I just wanted to get it off my chest. Can I not do something on my own (even if it is lose a baby). It's not that I want all the attention either I would much rather get on with things by myself than be the centre of attention, I hate everyone knowing my business IYKWIM, she on the other hand could win a bloody oscar the drama queen. It's like a competition with me only she is the only one competing. I mean she isn't popular in the family tbh but it's just getting ridiculous now.

Sorry for the rant and please don't think I want her to lose the baby cos I really don't, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, nor am I jealous of her but for some reason she just manages to wind me up all the time. Grrrrrrr.......

And breathe.

[sophiesmum]

I understand your rant - I think your MIL is being silly and creating a situation that is not required. She should keep quiet, I doubt your SIL would like it known how her pregnancy is ongoing. I take it the SIL is you MIL's daughter?

Also - I know what it's like when family try (or seem to) overshadow something that has happen to you or that you are try to do. I know what you mean about the not wanting all the attention, but when something so raw hits us, we want to be able to grieve, etc - but when something else happens, it's like it's wiped from people's memory - but not ours.

Family can be a pain in the arse - just the other week there my brother's new girlfriend was over and they are already talking of marriage in a few years and she basically went on about wanting to start family right after marriage, blah, blah - and not once did she mention Sophie. I know my brother has told her of Sophie and about getting to hold her (one of his most precious moments). I brought Sophie's name into the conversation and she quickly changed it - it annoyed me. Maybe cause she didn't know me too well was a little uneasy......

Thinking of you hun, Dawn xx

[Hols]

Thanks for taking the time to reply Dawn. Sorry your brothers GF was so insensitive, people just don't know how to behave do they??

SIL isn't MIL's daughter actually. I don't think MIL was trying to cause trouble she just wanted to warn me. Me and MIL get on really well tbh and no-one likes SIL as she is just out for what she can get basically. I just get so sick of her behaving like lady muck and having people run around after her cos she is a lazy bitch tbh. It's always just go to the shop for me, just mind the baby why I have some dinner (yes she eats before she will feed her child), just get me this, do this do that etc... She just wanted a baby to play dress up with and push round in the pram. When she realised that it was actually hard work looking after them she was straight back to work (this is someone who was always off sick beforehand) doing loads of UNPAID overtime, I mean why would you do that instead of spending the time with you child??

Grrrrr.......

You can tell I like her can't you??

Anyway I am feeling much better about everything now (despite the above mini rant haha). And I have finally stopped bleeding so things are finally looking up.